Since November, I´ve been dealing with a major setback. I got a real bad case of anxiety, and have since then been on sickleave, gradually going up from 100% to present 50%. Although the medication has helped against the anxiety, I know feel depression creeping up on me.

I feel tired and soppy all the time, and even though I can put up a happy face, it´s just a mask. All I want to do at the moment is stay at home and recover, which is bad, I know, I need to be out and about, but being a non-social person, who has no need whatsoever to interact with fellow human beings, being out and about feels more like a punishment to me, making me feel worse. I want to just say 'fuck everything!' and ignore work and responsabilities, do things that make me feel good all day and not have a care in the world until the world seems brighter again. I´m just so effing tired of everything!

I know how I sound,  being really selfcentered, feeling sorry for myself, acting like a spoiled brat and all, but I just needed to get this off my chest, so that I maybe can get through the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that... *sigh* I guess it´s all those days ahead, having to go to a workplace that I no longer feel optimistic going too, having not enough money, all these obligations... it weighs on my mind, and I´m not that strong a person.

Anyway, that´s enough depressing talk from me for now.